Can Do! (Part 2)

Tijuana Sunrise by Chris Couch

How do we jump start the next stage of your life? We need to bin the baggage but not your past. Use the present to reshape your future!

We need to connect your strengths, learn from your mistakes and encourage you to reshape and develop invaluable qualities to get you onto the next level!

So let’s start with creating a vibrant and genuine A3 sheet vision board Make it bold, bright and beautiful!

A vision board is a concrete representation of your desires and aspirations for a compelling life. They are fun to create and can serve as an invaluable tool to motivate and inspire you towards concrete daily action in pursuit of your biggest and most important life goals.

We need to visually see where you want to be in order to make it happen. So create a vision of your future, connect all those dreams and clarify your outcomes. This will enable you to move ahead! Use images and text! Let’s build the staircase!

So how do we build a vision board. Get a sheet of A3 paper, collect any images related to the goals you want to achieve, coloured pens, glue, and get started. Make it as bold as bright you would like do write it in positive language and put on a time frame. Go onto pinterest and search vision boards to give you some ideas.

Vision Board

Once completed, take a photo have it as a screen shot on your phone laptop computer , so you are reminded daily. Then stick it in your bathroom bedroom or kitchen where ever you can see it daily and often.

We need to build the foundations. No house will be left standing without the correct foundations!

So we have your vision board done. Now let’s get down to writing your goals for one year, five years and ten years.

The reason to write down your goals is to improve your focus.

When you’re focused on what you’re doing, you’re directing your energy toward your goals and you achieve better results. It’s easier to set other things aside when you know what you should focus on. Written goals help you have a clear focus and stay on track. Writing down your goals helps create a vision in your mind of how you want to be in the future. You can visually see the goal and understand the difference it will make in your life. When we see something clearly it creates change in how we act as we have clarity and direction.
How can I write my goals?

First, consider what you want to achieve, and then commit to it. Set SMART (specific, measureable, attainable, relevant and time-bound) goals that motivate you and write them down to make them feel tangible. Then plan the steps you must take to realize your goal, and cross off each one as you work through them. Writing it down will also improve your recall of the really important information. … Writing things down doesn’t just help you remember, it makes your mind more efficient by helping you focus on the truly important stuff. And your goals absolutely should qualify as truly important stuff.
What are the goals in our life?

With this in mind, here are 10 primary goals to accomplish as you plan for life in the next 1,5 and 10 years.

  • Marriage and family harmony
  • Proper mindset and Balance
  • Career passion, personal satisfaction
  • Physical health and weight
  • Financial stability
  • Service and social responsibility
  • Develop empathy
  • Love and romance
  • Family

So let’s get started:

Take a A4 sheet of paper divide into a third.  On each section write where you want to be and what you desire.

paper in three fold
Our next process to achieving our goals is to visualisation.


To visualise is to imagine or paint a picture of something in your mind. When you close your eyes and imagine yourself crossing the finish line of a race, this is an example of visualisation.

Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.

– Napoleon Hill

Visualisation is one of the most powerful mind exercises you can do. Whether you believe in it or think it is rubbish, there is scientific evidence to support the power of visualisation.

If you think you can do it, or you think you can’t do it, you are right.

– Henry Ford

How To Visualise

Set aside 20 minutes every day to visualise your future goals. Do this every day for seven days. Think about what you want to experience in each area of your life. Imagine your ideal body, relationship, career. Where you want to live, your finances. Be specific, picture as much as you can. Think about what you want until you are genuinely excited. Within a short period of time new and exciting ideas will pop into your head. The next step is to focus on the actions you need to take in order to make your vision a reality.

Process to Follow

  • Think about what you want;
  • Feel excited and motivated;
  • Take massive action; and
  • You will start to see results!

Who do we have in our life that radiators us and who drains us! It’s important when we move forward to surround ourselves with a framework of powerful support! It is important to surround ourselves with family and friends for support and comfort in both times of joy and distress. Studies have shown that having supportive relationships is a strong protective factor against mental illnesses and helps to increase our mental well-being.

Combine this with taking care of yourself and committing to regular habits! Adopting new, healthier habits may protect you from serious health problems like obesity and diabetes. New habits, like healthy eating and regular physical activity, may also help you manage your weight and have more energy. After a while, if you stick with these changes, they may become part of your daily routine.

Remove the clutter! Spring clean your life!

Confidence! Fake it until it becomes real!

It’s important to get clarity, space and gain more energy! To obtain that we need to streamline our lives, spring clean your life and mind! This is a time to rid yourself of any baggage of the past. Remove any distractions or obstacles that may hold you back or block your journey ahead.

We need to focus on your strengths and turn what you think are weakness into strengths. We need to understand how others perceive us. This is the one time we ask you to step back and look how to put your life into perspective. You need to challenge your weakness into strengths, start to do more things that inspire you and connect with who you are and see your self as your own special essence.

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it you will land amongst the stars.

– Lester Louis Brown, American journalist, 1928

I want you to take a photo of yourself and put it on your kitchen cupboard or Notice-board at work and ask family, friends to list one thing that makes you special get them to write it on a note-let ! And pin next to your image. Remind yourself daily ‘ how special you really are’.

You can also take this into work and get a group together.

Get each person to take a cup, write your name on it and line it up. Each write a compli-ment of each person in the room and place it in the cup.

We need to create positive relationships with one self and others. Focus on enhancing those around you. Enrich and clarify the roles and qualities of those you want in your life personally and professionally. Improve your powers of communication so you can empower your life and those around you.

Ones best can be accomplished by putting one foot in front of the other!

Build and strengthen your relationships!

What I would like for you to experience is a rare and beautiful thing, a precursor to love. Respect. The rarest respect – self-respect – is attained when our actions match our val-ues. In order for you to be the ‘best possible you’ it is of utmost importance that you have self-respect.

Allow me give you an example from my own life. Running. I am not a natural runner; I do not particularly enjoy being cold or wet or feeling my lungs burning in complaint as I push them to endure one more lap. But I have set a goal. I have agreed to take part in a 10k run. It is important to my personal values that I do my best, that I put the practice in, that I see this through. And maybe, just maybe, by race time, although I will still not be a ‘natural runner’, I might attain the level of a competent runner. It does not matter if I get a fast or slow time, if my face is bright red or my hair is sticking out like a bird’s nest… I will have fulfilled my goal, I will have tried my best, I will be ‘the best possible me…at run-ning’. The real triumph will be the knowledge that I did my best, that there is nothing else I could have reasonably done to do better. That is where the self-respect lies and once you respect yourself you will find yourself in much better company.

But you don’t want to enter a 10k race. You want to start your own business, find love, lose weight, buy a house, travel the world……You want to succeed in your dreams and goals. What does running a 10k race have in common with your goals?

Everything and nothing.

Whatever your goal you need to break it down and attack it logically and systematically. You need the how, what, when and why. I did not just throw on some trainers and start running around like a lunatic. I needed to know how far 10k was. And let me tell you it is a damn sight further on foot than it is in your car! I needed information. How had other people gone about training for a run of this distance? How long did it take them? How often would I need to practice? How long would the practice last and how often? What would I need? Special shoes? An interval timing watch? High vizclothing? What terrain would the actual race take place on? Was there somewhere akin to the terrain, elevation and distance that I could train at nearby? You get the picture. Planning and re-search is important. Goal setting is important. Getting off your ass and doing what you planned is important. Having a quiet word with yourself when you don’t feel like following through is important.

So far I have talked about self-respect and loving yourself. Sure I am my own biggest fan but I am not adverse to telling myself to ‘get my fucking trainers on, stop being a whiny little shit and get on with it’. It’s raining. I’m tired. It’s cold. It’s dark. I’ve got a cold…blaa, blaa, blaa. You may be able to sell these excuses to everyone around you, but you know better. You just lost some self-respect. That voice in your head knows everything you know. Your actions just conflicted with your core values and you no longer feel good. You disappointed yourself.

If success was easy then everyone would be successful. It is not and they are not. You have to go the extra mile, you have to suck it up and put the work in. By all means work smart, do not put more energy into something than is needed but do not kid yourself when you are slacking off. That drizzle and slight nip in the air is not really stopping me from running. Laziness and complacency is.

But hang on. Before you wallow in self-hatred, before you bemoan your weakness, before you berate yourself too much….

It is a natural state for human beings to err towards shortcuts, to look for the easy way. Our biggest flaw is our biggest asset. Finding the easiest way to do something has driven human beings to excel. We truly are the king of the beasts. Our ancestors once hunted for meat, they scavenged for berries and edible foliage. It was a hard life, one that all other predators shared in common. But the clever humans, they grew tired of hunting for their food, of scavenging for berries, of working far too hard for far too little. They captured the prey animals, they enclosed them, they bred them and they ate them. No more long hunts. We began farming, we invented machines. Our desire for an easier life drove us forward, it drives innovation to this day, but it also constrains us as individuals from doing what needs to be done. In order to be the ‘best you can be’ you need to think like a smart human, plan your actions in a way that is logical and efficient but you also need to act, do and achieve. As a group human beings are amazing, awesome creatures. As individuals we can be lazy, self-seeking and conscientious.

To succeed in your goals you need to recognise that it is human to look for the easy way out, but as a human you are smart enough to recognise and ignore such a fallacy. And so we come full circle, for you to reach your full potential, for you to be the ‘best you possible you’ and be happy in your own skin you need to be able to respect yourself and your own set of ideals. You need to know who you are, what you want and expect of yourself and follow through with deliberate purpose. It is not enough to want a Ferrari or a successful business or a size 10 waist you have to plan it and follow through. And here is the kicker; the real happiness you will get when you achieve your goal is not from the material reward, however nice that is… No. It is from the self-respect you have gained from following through, the mental high-five you give yourself when you can say yes, I did this. There really is nothing better than the knowledge that you are the ‘best you possible’, there was nothing more that you could have done. No nagging what ifs, or why didn’t I’s…

You did it. Enjoy your prize and move onto the next goal.

Do the one thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.

– Ralph Waldo Emerson, American poet, 1803-1882

In the beginning I told you that we would be working on the tangible, the doable, the here and now. What will follow is 3 chapters detailing how you can make real changes in your behaviour that will allow you to improve your performance across all aspects of your life. There will be tasks, questions and tips to help you understand why you have made the choices you have up until now, but this is not something to dwell on. Accepting and acknowledging the past is important but letting go and moving on is equally, if not more so relevant to your future successes. Goal setting, planning, contentiousness, commitment and follow through will become your mantra. If you do something, anything, do it properly. At the risk of sounding like a stuck record you need to be and do your best, at everything. That is something that only you can do, but this book will hopefully help you recognise and capitalise your own potential. Sometimes we are not doing enough and we don’t even realise it. If you follow the ideas of this post then you will realise that phrases such as ‘good enough’ or ‘that will do’ are holding you back. Don’t do something until the outcome is ‘good enough’, do it until ‘it is finished’. ‘That will do’ implies ‘that could be done better’. I would say good luck to you in your future endeavours but you do not need luck, instead I will leave you with another quote from one of my favourite philosophers, the existentialist, Jean-Paul Sartre ‘Commit-ment is an act, not a word.’ In other words, get on with it.

We need to overcome your obstacles, find the blocks and move forward.
As you identify these blocks or obstacles and discover how you can overcome them. You can empower your beliefs to move yourself forward and challenge those obstacles that hold you back. You need to build your tool box containing any tools, resources, old and new skills and or abilities to enable you to transform yourself and build those steps and start to climb.
Planning is always essential to any task you undertake! Guaranteed to go belly up if one does not. You need to focus on what’s important what are your priorities, you need to learn to manage yourself.

This is another drain we need to block and create a new foundation. Fear of finances is common practice we are all guilty of this at sometime in our lives. We need to understand your emotional blocks about finances, eliminate any debts that you may have as debt breeds worry and insecurity. Action is now required to gain momentum in your money situation and establish ways of propelling your self forward.

Vision is great but unless we take action or pay attention to our vision or goals and embrace the changes and celebrate them. We need to integrate your actions, beliefs and goals into your daily life bring them In to reality. Take your self out of your comfort zone, challenge the fear and create the momentum ensure your life is being transformed on a daily basis.

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
– Abraham Lincoln

What Should You Do Next

Aj Philp is an accredited empowerment coach and a certified NLP Practitioner and hypnotist. She is passionate, encouraging, motivating and inspiring clients to achieve their goals and changing their lives. If you would like to attend my free Masterclass on the Steps You Need to take to change your life (sign up here) It lasts about 40 minutes and will cover the following:

  1. The 5 powerful steps you need to get your life on track.
    • daily habits
    • setting boundaries
    • smart goals
    • journaling
    • inner dialogue
  2. Get really clear about your 2021 goals and move away from feeling stuck in life.
  3. The key steps and actions you need to take to move from where you are right now to where you want to be in your future.
  4. Start to feel super excited and motivated to make a change in your life in 2021 and making it happen!
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